Wednesday, October 3, 2012

31 for 21, Day 2

As you may have noticed, I didn't post yesterday! I literally did not have time. Joe and I attended the DSASTX parent support group last night. The topic was on special needs trusts. We got home too late for me to blog and do everything else I have to do at night. Hopefully I can make up for the missed day by doing two blog posts in one day! We shall see.

Today I'd like to write about Lily. Since having Daniel, my time with her has been very different. Not only because she has a new baby sibling, but also because he requires more of my attention because I really cannot neglect his physical and occupational therapy that we must do every day. A lot of the time this looks like I am just playing with him!! But I am really giving him a great workout. It may not seem like a big deal, but it does take time. This means less time for her.

It may surprise you to learn that I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. It isn't the end of the world to learn that your parents' lives to do not revolve around you and your desires. It would have happened with a new sibling anyway, but is more pronounced because Daniel has special needs that cannot be ignored. Learning to put others first, especially if they are not as fortunate as you are, is a lesson that Lily will have to learn early. And I praise God for that.

Some of you may know that Lily goes to school three days a week. On those days I feel less pressure to be "on" all the time as her parent because I know her school is a very enriching environment. So I decided that the two weekdays that she is not in school, I will try to make as exciting as possible for her, of course without neglecting Daniel's needs as well.

This past Monday was my first experiment with this idea, that two days a week would be "Awesome Lily/Mommy days" and that the other three days I could cut myself some slack on trying to be supermom for everyone, to preserve my own sanity.

His name is Walker and he is a really friendly neutered male, for those who might want to adopt! We highly recommend him.
And I have to say, it was a massive success. We went to the park, we delivered hand picked organic figs from our garden to a neighbor, we painted, we did some homeschooling, we took a walk, we ate awesome food, and we even took a trip to the Humane Society to look at kitties (no we are not adopting one! this was a "just for fun" trip). With some planning I was able to fit all of Daniel's therapies in. I even made dinner!

I think a lot of times, people assume that a child with special needs will cause resentment in the other siblings who are typically developing. I really do not want that to happen in our family, but I also want to teach Lily that joy can be found in sacrificing for others. And I think that will be easier for her if she is continually reminded how special and important she is to us. I think these "Lily focused" days will really be a help for all of us and I really can't wait to do some more fun activities with her on Friday!

Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves,
each looking out not for his own interests, but also everyone for those of others.
-Philippians 2:3-4

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